First week of college has ended!
Jan 3rd was the first day after about 2 or 3 weeks of break… It was a mixed feeling being there after holiday-ing at home. A feeling of excited and yet scared, eager yet nervous all at the same time… This would be my last semester as foundation student and I’m looking forward to it. Last semester, I was kinda just floating through. You know lar, it was nearly the end of the year so the spirit wasn’t there.. But this is the new year. Azam baru. Semangat baru.
Yeah… RIGHT! I always have azam baru every year that lasted from January until around March or so? And then, the procrastinator in me starts to come out! That devil!
Today is the 6th day of the new year but it is never too late to recap last year’s events…
2006! It marked the end of high school for me. After SPM, it was independence! Time to move on to college. My journey for college began with the hunt for a good college and a course that I’m interested. I made up my mind to take up Biotechnology as all other courses are either quite common or quite….. common!
Around March, SPM results were released and I was damn happy that I didn’t get C or D for add maths… And also, very satisfied that my hard work paid off.
In a blink of an eye, I’m off to Terengganu for NATIONAL SERVICE! Arrgh! I got the camp futherest away possible from home, depressing.. National service taught me many things actually (although I still love to think that its hell on earth). Learnt to make friends from all kinds of background. I know now that I should never judge a book by its cover. Camp was fun and it gave me doses of good spirit that I really needed. I miss the training and especially kawad kaki. Its sad that I didn’t get to join the final kawad kaki competition since I had gone back earlier than my friends. College awaits me.
First day of college was, scary. I was out of the gang of my peers because the subjects that I took was out of the normal order, for some reason. So, I learnt to adapt. And sad to say, I taught myself to distance myself from people. Since the starting of college, I felt so small. I was confused and so un-me. I lost my self confidence and I never gain it back. I am very self concious..
I missed my friends so much. But as people go apart, their hearts grow apart too. As much as I hope that things will stay the same as before, it didnt. I felt like an outkast.
So, I will still have to learn to adapt in this new year. I am not me anymore. I’ve grown up and still find it hard to accept reality.. Its a cold world out there. I am not me anymore. I’m now on my journey to find the part of me that I’ve lost.