Forth week of college and already things are getting hectic. So many things that in mind, but I can’t find the way to pour it out.
It just smack me it the face just how outrageous and stupid people can be. It seems to me, even if you have somebody that you know for your entire life, you can’t trust them. Let me rephrase.. They can’t trust me.
I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I did my best in studies, did my best to be nice, my best to fullfill demands, I don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t party all day and all night, don’t have tatoos all over my body, don’t swear everytime I open my mouth.
So, what is it that I did that is so wrong? Is it really that hard to earn trust from someone?
What saddens me most is not the fact that I don’t earn trust from anybody. It dissapoints me most that people have to actually spy on me. Years knowing each other and yet …
For a period of time in my life, I have chosen not to care. Not to care what others think of me, not to care what others say. I just do things that I feel is right. My motto back then, ” Live your own way of life. Think your own way “. Well, something like that.
And now, I’ve decided that, the me back then, have to come back. I sick and tired of living under the shadow of somebody else. I need to be me.
Some thinks that I’m cold and proud. And some thinks that its cool. Its just a way I choose to live.
A someone once said,
“Have your own thinking. If you are thinking like everyone else
you are not thinking at all.”