Harsh truth; Down the drain

Dad said to me,

Just look at you, girl. Busy replying sms with your handphone. Busy replying and chatting on the internet. Why do you keep yourself so busy? You are making yourself no freedom at all. The computer that I bought, is for you to do your work. Not for entertainment.

I was sitting down with my com, replying to important-work-related-sms and answering some msn messages when he hit me with what he said. Like usual, I just kept quiet and tame the burning flame inside of me. I know better than to really say out what’s on my mind. There’d be cursing and crying and godknowswhat!

His statement, is really depressing. Correction, dissapointing.

All that he knows is that, whenever I’m back home I never do any work. Spend my day watching tv, surfing the net and chatting and sms-ing.

Here’s what he don’t know.

I studied so so so hard for all my exams. I’d begin revision at least a week before, doing ongoing exercises day by day. Sleeping only at 2am in the morning the day before exam. I went to the examination hall with two black panda’s eyes.

As for the computer, I didn’t even once touch it during the weekdays. All my assignments, I did it using college’s com. My research, discussions and all. Never did I missuse it for all I know.

The days that I don’t work, is the day that I’m back at home. The weekends. If it is not for him, I wouldn’t have come home every weekend. I know that he misses me, thus the mountain of work, can be pushed and rushed to finish the following week. The rest of Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, I filled it with rushing my work.

The days and hours that I spent at college, working for college staffs whenever I’m free from classes, just so to lighten his burden paying for my tuition fees.

All those, he did not once realise. All that he sees in his eyes, is that I’m not working hard for anything. The hard times that I went through, he did not realise. He don’t even know about it.

I kept quiet.

What’s the use of telling them how hard and how much I work? They won’t be able to do anything.

He expects I get full marks for all exams. He don’t know a damn of how hard it is. In his mind, its my duty and therefore, I should be able to do it.

This is just so dissapointing. My hard work, my time, my life…. Spent just pleasing him.

When does my life begins?


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