It really slipped out of my mind that Jess is going away to India. She’s probably suffering in India right now. I knew I forgotten something really important that day. It was only on the next morning that I realise it was her birthday I was forgetting. Shit lar man! But when I switched on my handphone, I got a text that I wasn’t expecting at all…
“Hi stella i’m leavin 2 india in awhile.u take care n all the best in ur studies.hope 2 meet u in dec.send my regards 2 zmun n other frenz.gonna miz ya.bye.”
The exact words keep popping in my head that day. I got the shock and it hasn’t left me yet. I’m sad. I’m overwhelmed. I’m numb. I’m dumbfounded. I’m shocked. I’m everything that words can’t describe. And I’m not exaggerating at all. I texted Vinie telling her that we didn’t say goodbye to Jess but I’m not sure she got my message. Jess left for India already. Tears are already screaming to get out, it takes a lot of effort putting a calm and happy face.
My dearest friend left the country while I was sleeping soundly. It must have been hard for her, her best friend didn’t even say goodbye. Last time I saw her was in KFC, chatting for 3 hours straight about everything. Just me, Jess and Vinie like the good old times. =)
And she was stung by a bee the night before. Told a funny but pity story of how her dad got her to hospital, the doctors making fun of her, the late night scares. Haha…
I must be really selfish. If only I cared a lot more, I would have texted or see her before she left. I made sure that I remember but in the end, I forgot. Selfish. I hope she could forgive me. I feel so bad already. She’s always there for me and me? I’m just selfish, I wanted all the attention and gave none back.
I am a really selfish person. I kinda have known this for quite awhile but I just couldn’t accept that I was. Because I hated selfish people. People who takes everyone for granted, doesn’t care about other people, self-centered bitches. Well, I’m that bitch.
I hate me.
Though you probably won’t read or know of this, I wanna say that I’m so sorry for being so shallow. I hope you have the bested time in India. Don’t kow tow too much eh?! Haha… I’m gonna miss you too gal. The big grin on your face. See you soon in December. I’m waiting for it and I’m making sure I won’t forget no more.