R.I.P Michael

I was very little when I first saw Michael Jackson on TV. Dad had bought the Dangerous Laserdisc (LD) and played Black or White. It was the first time I saw Michael Jackson. The video was mind-blowing, I was hooked from thereon.

We Are The World  is another one of my favourite song. I get goosebumps and cry every single time I hear it. Such a beautiful song.

When I got the sms from Bex that Michael Jackson has died, I initially thought it was a rumour. Or maybe a media trick.

 

 

 

Goodbye to the King of the Pop.

Project Presentation

Argh! Nightmares do come true…

I didn’t sleep the whole night because of this. My mind keeps spinning around and thinking about Lactobacillus and the thoughts don’t even make sense. It’s the same thing, same concept over and over again. I’m stuck at the maze and couldn’t get out.

I hate not sleeping. Because, I love to sleep.

 

Period!

The one good thing I find out about not sleeping is that, I am able to concentrate more in class. The 8 am class this morning. The class where I fall fast asleep ten minutes in. Today, I made history.

 

Let’s get back on track. The project presentation is next Friday. 3rd July 2009 at 12.20 am (or is it pm? Can’t differentiate and don’t care). I hate presentation, talking in front of crowd, not being able to answer during Q&A session presentation.

When I’m nervous, I start playing with my nails. Pinching and pressing my nails. I start playing with my skirt. Touching the sides here, the sides there, feeling the cotton. And when I get really really nervous, I slouch.

Ah, the stress! I think I know my things. But I’m scared I’ll forget it all on the day.

Hope I don’t make a fool out of myself. Embarassing Dr. Renee will be the ultimate crime. Geez!

Learning to ask why

Thinking about proposal presentation makes me giddy. Heart starts to pump two times faster thinking of it.

In the midst of preparing presentation slides now. Digesting a lot a lot of information in about a month.

Never a person to ask a lot questions, now having to learn to ask why for everything. Why is a powerful question. Among the what, where, when, how, which and who, why is the tricky one. Why can lead you to a whole new topic. A whole new topic means deviation from the correct path.

Why this why that why everything.

Though asking why does adds your knowledge, but on the other hand it consumes too much time and energy. Which is what I am running out of at the moment.

Come to think of it, shouldn’t even be wasting time blogging about having not enough time. Irony irony!

Fear Factor

If fear was not a factor…

I will absolutely say what I really want to say. No holding back.

I know I am a person with low self-confidence. I hold back so much on so many thing. I hate that I can’t do something without first thinking what other people would say or think. And in the end, not doing what I want.

I hate that I dare not say what I want to say because I have the need to be accepted. In everything. And then at the end of the day, I would regret that I did not voice out my thoughts. I know that I am a hypocrite. I don’t like being a hypocrite.

When I’ve mustered up enough confidence to say something, it is always too late. When I want to say something, I know that whatever comes out of my mouth has been replayed over and over again in my brain.

Few years back when I first started a blog, I wanted it to be the place for me to pen down my thoughts. As time goes by, people I know starts reading my blog and somehow along the line I stopped writing what I really wanted to write. Because I know the next day, I would have to face them. They would know. I would be striped naked. Every thoughts and every feeling out in the open. And thus the blog deviates from it’s original purpose.

 

 

If fear was not a factor…

I will be who I want to be. That is I want to do.

 

 

 

Someday, one of these days, I will be comfortable in my own skin.

My Lookalike

Happy Birthday… Hope you love the Diamond we gave you.

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Saw this photo and just couldn’t resist showing it here. Nah!


A lot of people say that this woman is my younger sister. I get that since I was in secondary school. Now, they say she is my older sister.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s my mom. And a perverted one too.
Happy birthday!