If you search for tenderness, it isn’t hard to find. You can have the love you need to live. But if you look for truthfulness, you might just as well be blind. It always seems to be so hard to give. Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard.
I can always find someone to say they sympathize if I wear my heart out on my sleeve. But I don’t want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies. All I want is someone to believe.
-Billy Joel from Honesty
I find it hard to put my trust people. I’ve seen friends backstabbing each other many times and I am scared. There are only a few people who I am close with. Fewer friends who I can trust. Mostly because I find it hard to trust/believe in people.
I believe that once trust is broken, it can never be replaced. It can be gained, but it won’t happen overnight. It takes months, maybe years.
I do not know why I can feel and act the total opposite and its driving me crazy.
These days I have trouble concentrating on one thing. My mind goes blank and I zone out. It is scary.
Sometimes, my fingers and toes feel numb, with tingling sensation. It happens quite often and I suspect that I will drop dead from stroke one of these days.
I do not find joy doing things that I once loved.