Now I understand what she felt and why she cried. At that time, I though she was being childish. Even thought that the reaction was over the top. Now that it’s happening again, to me this time, I understand the motion she was going through.
I remember asking her why she reacted the way she did when the change is small, insignificant but also significant in a way. If I remember correctly, she said something along this line
It is not easy to find someone whom you can work closely with.
True. It certainly is not easy. Getting to know someone’s habit or how a person behaves or thinks, take a lot of time. Appetence for a person is another thing. But for me, I dislike this feeling of being left behind. Somehow or rather, I am feeling this way though it’s not.
I remembered how awkward it felt at the beginning. I remembered the small talks we made to fill awkward silence. Well, to me it felt that way. And I remembered how timid I was to offer help, not knowing if you needed it or not but felt glad at the same time knowing that you would help whenever I needed it. As time goes by, serried together by hurdles, we made it worked.
And as you make your way to another new beginning, I am left feeling what she felt. At least I had time to get used to the change, she didn’t. Hers happened abruptly. That’s the only comfort I have.
I dislike changes. I am a habitual person. And yet, I’ve change partner for the sixth time. I’m getting sick of this.
Here it goes again. The cycle that I can’t seem to break away from.
Making small talks. Light jokes. Getting to know each other. Cheers to a new beginning (sarcasm intended)!
But hey, I hope you’ll find joy, one way or another, in whatever it is that you’re supposed to do. That, is sincere
And for myself… My change is coming. I can feel it. I will definitely regret. But I am excited at the same time. Regret that I give up after all this time, regret that this will soon be a past tense. Excited for a change. Excited to change. Excited. Just because.