1.37am and I am still awake although i can fall asleep anytime already. I need to jot this down while it is still fresh in my mind.
When I was at the lowest point in my life, you said something that really gave me strength. Something so simple yet it meant so much. “That’s what friends are for”.
I’ve tried the whole night to recollect the memories of when I uttered them to you. I can’t remember. I can’t. I don’t know when I said those words to you, I don’t even know I said them in the first place.
Yet somehow, these words, that seemed trivial to me, meant so much to you. I had absolutely no idea they have such a big impact on you. None, zero, zilch! And I am so moved and at the same time so ashamed. Moved because I am not used to people being so frank with me and so appreciative of me. It’s something I do not encounter. Ashamed because I can’t even remember this moment that meant so much to you. Ashamed because part of me tells me that I may have not truly meant what I said, only that it was what was appropriate at the time. Ashamed.
I promise I will treat you better. Cross my heart and hope to die.
I made a vow yesterday and really did mean to keep this vow. I vowed to forget you coz I know what I dream of will forever be just a dream. Coz I know a person like yourself, deserves more. And so I vowed to stop living in this dream.
And to my disbelief, you appeared today. Mere coincidence or fate? Is it meant to be or am I thinking too much?
I need answers! I need closure!
This is an excerpt of the conversation I had with myself just a while ago.
Me1: Aaaah.. Finally some release after a few days of constipation.
Me2: Constipation sucks.
Me1: Yeah, so does diarrhea!
Me2: Yeah totally!
A moment of silence
Me2: So ok… If you had to choose between a week of diarrhea and a week of constipation, which will you pick?
Me1: Easy! Diarrhea. Can lose weight.
Me2: True, true.
Me1: But then, remember the last time you had diarrhea, it was so suffering.
Me2: Especially when you need toilet every few seconds. Well, constipation then.
Me1: Yup, we should go for constipation.
A moment of silence
Me1: But remember back then, there’s this new about this person who died coz he didn’t poop after 3 days.
Me2: Omg! Yes! Poor guy died from constipation. Intoxicated himself to death. Funny!
Me1: Oh man.. What a tough decision
Me3: Shut up… I sense another wave of poop coming. Lets make this a good and long one.
Me1 and Me2: *in unison* Yes let’s do this!!!
Note: A moment of silence should be accompanied by silence and (after 3 seconds) poop-crashing-into-water sound. Imagination required.
Happy New Year! Wherever you are, hope you had a great ending and a greater beginning.