1.37am and I am still awake although i can fall asleep anytime already. I need to jot this down while it is still fresh in my mind.
When I was at the lowest point in my life, you said something that really gave me strength. Something so simple yet it meant so much. “That’s what friends are for”.
I’ve tried the whole night to recollect the memories of when I uttered them to you. I can’t remember. I can’t. I don’t know when I said those words to you, I don’t even know I said them in the first place.
Yet somehow, these words, that seemed trivial to me, meant so much to you. I had absolutely no idea they have such a big impact on you. None, zero, zilch! And I am so moved and at the same time so ashamed. Moved because I am not used to people being so frank with me and so appreciative of me. It’s something I do not encounter. Ashamed because I can’t even remember this moment that meant so much to you. Ashamed because part of me tells me that I may have not truly meant what I said, only that it was what was appropriate at the time. Ashamed.
I promise I will treat you better. Cross my heart and hope to die.